How well do you know me? Best friend quiz questions that work

"How well do you know me?" is the oldest game best friends play. You answer some questions about yourself, they guess your answers, and then you argue about whether "a long walk" and "a walk to the shop" count as the same thing.

It is a great game with one weak spot. A friend can score well by luck, and a bad question can make a stranger look like a soulmate. Both problems have simple fixes, and the fixes come from counting.

How the game works

The version that works best is multiple choice. Each of you answers five questions about yourself in private, choosing one of four options. Then you each guess the other's five answers. At the end you reveal all ten together, and each of you scores one point per right guess.

Multiple choice beats open questions for one reason: it ends arguments. "What is my ideal Sunday?" with no options turns into a debate about wording. "A long lie-in, a long walk, a big brunch or gaming all day?" has exactly one right answer.

What a lucky guess scores

With four options, a blind guess is right one time in four. Over five questions, here is what someone who knows nothing about you would score:

So read your score like this:

• 0–2 right: what a stranger gets nine times in ten. It does not mean they do not know you. Five questions is a small sample. Play another round.
• 3 right: better than 90% of random guessers. They know you.
• 4 right: a random guesser does this less than 2% of the time.
• 5 right: about one in a thousand by luck. They were paying attention.

Two rounds tell you far more than one. Six or more right out of ten is something a random guesser manages only about 2% of the time.

Why bad questions make the game too easy

All of those numbers assume four real options. Change the question and the luck changes with it.

• One silly option. If one of the four answers is obviously a joke that nobody would pick, the guesser is really choosing from three. The chance of a lucky 3 out of 5 doubles, from 10% to 21%.
• Yes-or-no questions. "Do I like spicy food?" gives a stranger a 50% chance on every question, and half of all strangers get 3 or more right. A yes-or-no question cannot tell your best friend apart from someone you met today.
• Facts anyone can look up. Your birthday, your home town or your pet's name test memory, not knowledge. A good friend may have forgotten them, and someone who checked your profile will not have.
• The obvious answer. "My favourite food is… pizza, broccoli, liver or plain rice" has one answer that almost everybody picks. Only include four options that a real person could choose.

What makes a good question

The best questions are about habits and reactions, not facts. They have four answers that are all believable, and the right one is something you only learn by spending time with a person. A test: if your mum and your best friend would give different answers about you, it is a good question.

Here are questions from the friends and classic packs in our quiz game, with their options:

• In the group chat, I am… always typing / a silent reader / the meme sender / the voice note sender
• On a group day out, I am the one who… plans it all / shows up late / takes the photos / leaves first
• I reply to your texts in… seconds / hours / days / my head, then forget
• If you text me at 2 am, I… reply in seconds / reply at noon / call you / leave it on read
• If I call you instead of texting, it means… big news / emergency / I'm bored / wrong button
• When there's drama in the group, I… stay out of it / want every detail / try to fix it / get the popcorn
• If we got lost in the woods, I would… lead the way / panic / build a fort / eat all the snacks
• The photo of you I would post on your birthday is… a cute one / a blurry one / a baby photo / the worst one I have
• My go-to reaction to a message is… a heart / a crying-laughing face / a thumbs up / a random sticker
• At a sleepover, my sleeping spot is… the bed / the floor / the sofa / wherever I drop
• If I had to lose one for a week, I'd pick… my phone / my wallet / my keys / my voice
• In the morning, I am… up before the alarm / snoozing three times / a zombie till coffee / weirdly cheerful
• My biggest pet peeve is… loud chewing / people running late / slow walkers / a messy kitchen
• At karaoke, I… grab the mic first / hide by the snacks / only do duets / pick a big ballad

Every one of these has four answers a real person picks. None of them can be looked up. And most of them have a story behind the answer, which is the best part of the reveal.

For couples, ask about the relationship, not the person

Couples know each other's facts already. The questions that still surprise them are about the two of them together: "When we play games, I… let you win / never let you win / cheat a little / sulk if I lose", or "The food I pretend to like for you is… mushrooms / olives / spicy food / none, I'm honest". A couple who gets 5 out of 5 on those has earned it.

Playing when you are not in the same room

The quiz works well apart, because the answering is private anyway. Each of you answers on your own phone, whenever you like. Then reveal the answers together on a call, one question at a time, so you hear the reaction to each wrong guess. The reveal is the game. Do not rush it.

In our app, the quiz is called Know Me. It has 510 questions in three packs of 170: classic, couples and friends. It keeps track of the questions you have already played together, so the next round is new. You can play it on one phone, passing it across the table, or on two phones in different cities.

The short version

Use four believable options per question, ask about habits rather than facts, and play at least two rounds. Pure guessing gets 1 or 2 out of 5. Three right means they know you, four is rare by luck, and five is about one in a thousand.